I learned early on in life that every person I loved was sure to disappoint me somewhere along the yellow brick road. This was proven to me, even more so, in love relationships.
The first few months are like living in La La Land. It’s falling in love, somewhere over the rainbow, in a land of unrealistic hope. It’s like cruising along on the good ship lollipop.
However, things don’t stay that way. In a relationship, two people are bound to cross the threshold into Reality Land. This is where one’s true colors shine through and where many of my relationships ended.
It used to embarrass me when a guy didn’t like me back, or when he chose to end whatever was going on between us.
Why? Because of rejection.
Rejection makes me feel self-conscious and ill at ease. And to be totally honest, it SUCKS! It’s bad enough to be rejected in day-to-day life, and coming to terms with being a woman, in the workforce, in a patriarchal world.
But to be rejected in relationships on top of it – that takes the cake!
I have been rejected more times than I’d like to admit. It’s a humbling experience, but also transformative – each with its own gifts.
Some break-ups were heart wrenching and caused me great sadness. Others seemed to have cruel and surprising twists, which left me stunned and confused. Others were simply not meant to be. I was genuinely, passionately, and profoundly in love with some of the men, while others were simply that – men.
As we travel through life, we often end up single. There are many reasons why. It could be because you were with the wrong person, cheating, lies, divorce, addictions, location, goals, no passion and more.
You may also be fearful of rejecting someone. The truth is that you are not obligated to stay with someone who isn’t right for you. Rejection is a natural part of the dating and relationship process.
I also look at rejection as a way of you being protected from that situation.
You can change how you look at rejection and see it as a gift.
When you reject someone, you are releasing them to find someone who will truly love them for who they are. Look at it this way when someone rejects you – Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t love you for who you are? Wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who loves and cherishes you for YOU?
No matter how you look at it; falling in love is a risk. You are bound to be hurt somehow, some time, somewhere in the relationship. But instead of rejecting love after you have been hurt, and watching life pass you by, embrace the journey. Ask yourself how you can grow through the experience.
Every person who has ever entered your life has come to bring you a gift. This gift is for you to get a better understanding for who you are as a person. If you look at it that way and receive the presents – you have the opportunity to become your Best Self.
I can also foresee that if you can turn rejection into a positive event, no matter how much it hurts in the moment, it will lead you to an even better opportunity. No matter how cliché it may sound – As one door closes, another always opens.