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03 Feb

Posted at 22:22h in Divorce, Dr Eris, Marriage

I learned early on in life that every person I loved was sure to disappoint me somewhere along the yellow brick road. This was proven to me, even more so, in love relationships. The first few months are like living in La La Land. It’s falling in love, somewhere over the rainbow, in a land of unrealistic hope. It’s like cruising along on the good ship lollipop. However, things don’t stay that way. In a relationship, two people are bound to cross the threshold into Reality Land. This is where one’s true colors shine through and where many of my relationships ended. It...

03 Feb

Posted at 21:10h in Dr Eris

Dr. Eris, Previously, my boyfriend and I were engaged but he cancelled the wedding, fearing finances and distance being that I'm only a second year grad student.  I was so shocked and angry, but I didn't want to breakup with him. I spent a good part of a year loving and resenting him simultaneously, but I decided I was sinking to an all-time desperate low and started to focus on myself a little bit more.  Needless to say we started falling in love again (even more than before) and I knew another engagement was coming.  I was impatient and hopeful, but not too whiny...

01 Feb

Posted at 23:09h in Divorce, Dr Eris, Marriage

Dear Dr. Eris, I’ve been in a relationship for over a decade. He proposed to me after 6 months of dating, but it has never felt completely right to me, which is why I’ve had a “long engagement”. There’s security in our relationship together, however, he can be very mean. My son, who has known my boyfriend as a father for his entire life, is turning 11 years old. I can see his general disdain is having a negative impact on my son’s self-confidence. I feel that leaving the relationship would be best for myself and my son in the long run,...

01 Feb

Posted at 23:02h in Dr Eris, Marriage

Each person shows love and likes to receive love differently. Some like words of affirmation while others like to be kissed, cuddled and spend quality time together. Some like to receive gifts or have some help around the house. Other people like to communicate and have long talks. Everyone is different. The important thing for you to figure out is what your partner needs from you to show them that you love them. Many times we know what our partners want but we are unwilling to give it. We might do this because we feel like we aren’t getting in return or there...

01 Feb

Posted at 22:58h in Divorce, Dr Eris, Marriage

One of the major causes of relationship problems is self-abandonment. We’ve all done it or have seen our friends do it. We fall into the spend-every-minute-you-can-with-them beginnings of a relationship (what I call the La La Land Stage in love). You can’t imagine life without your partner. In fact, you won’t even consider it. When you abandon yourself, you let go of your self-interests and desires. Time with your friends begins to drift away. Your gym membership suddenly is gathering dust, you begin to drink more because he’s a drinker, or you become a vegan because they are. You begin to believe...

01 Feb

Posted at 22:05h in Dr Eris, Marriage

Sex is usually pretty free and easy in the beginning of a relationship. And for most, it’s great! But like anything, if you don’t nurture your sex life it looses its spark and gets old quick. Most couples that don’t communicate about sex end up stuck in the same old rut year in and year out. One of my jobs as a relationship therapist is to help couples resolve their sexual issues and begin to have loving, passionate sex again. After all, sex is not a one way street unless you are having it by yourself. One of my favorite romance experts...